Chapter 4: My Marvelous Wedding Day
Like most wedding days, my wedding was a very happy occasion. The wedding itself was one that Maria and I put together ourselves. My parents followed typical American custom in which the bride’s family pays for the wedding. Maria’s family followed the tradition that someone else pays for the wedding. Actually, Maria’s mother was in no shape to pay for any wedding. Iris and her other two daughters were very helpful in suggestions, people to invite, finding someone to give Maria away, etc., but the finances would have to come from the two of us.
I was nineteen at the time and Maria had just turned twenty. We were both college students, working to support ourselves in the not-so high-paying jobs at Fabric-Land and Seven-Eleven. We weren’t exactly rich ourselves, so our wedding definitely wasn’t the most expensive wedding ever. That’s OK! It was OUR wedding.
We knew that we wanted to get married in Modesto (surprise, surprise). We knew that we wanted the ceremony to be both in Spanish and in English. Beyond the fact that we knew we had a limited budget, we didn’t know much else about the whole undertaking. That’s all right, we (or Maria most likely), had the confidence that everything would be fine one way or the other. We plunged ahead and made all of the arrangements we could.
The site of the church was an easy decision. Iris lived around the corner from the Catholic Church that just happened to have the same name as the church in Colombia where Maria was baptized: it was perfect! In addition, her uncle was a deacon, so he would be able to be part of the ceremony: again a perfect fit! We found a reasonably priced restaurant with a large room for parties that wasn’t too far from the church. Maria knew exactly how she wanted to decorate, so we found the materials needed to make it look the way she wanted. Finally, we found a reasonably priced location in Mazatlán, México, were we could go for our honeymoon. Everything seemed to be working out fine.
As the day arrived, my friends put together a bachelor party, while Maria’s sisters put together a bachelorette party. I don’t remember too much about my party. It was at my sister’s boyfriend’s father’s house outside of Lodi. We had some drinks, watched a few movies and then I fell asleep. I woke in the morning to find that my bestman, Tony, had generously painted my fingernails and toe nails a bright red for me. What a great friend!
Finally, the day was getting closer. We finished a practice run, and I drove back to Stockton, while Maria stayed with her family. I found out later that between her hair and her makeup, Maria didn’t sleep much at all that night. I didn’t sleep much either, mostly because Tony, Ron and my sister’s boyfriend were up partying all night getting stoned. It was the most important day of my life and all of my supposed support was getting stoned.
The next morning, they were still in the same shape. They weren’t much help at all for me and my nerves. I was getting married, and a lot of people were going to be there to watch me do it. There were people from my family including all of the aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc. In addition, all of Maria’s family and family friends were there. On top of that, all of our friends were there also. I had never been so nervous in my life and my stoned friends weren’t helping at all. Even worse, I couldn’t relieve my stress talking with Maria. It was our wedding day; I couldn’t even see her until the moment of the wedding.
We got to Modesto to the apartment complex where Iris lived. Luckily it was the same complex where her brother, Dario, and mother lived. That allowed those that could, the opportunity to go and see Maria, while those of us who couldn’t (me) had a place to go. My friends abandoned me to see Maria and continue their partying. Dario left to be with Iris and the others in their final preparations as well. That left me alone with Maria’s grandmother.
There I was alone with Maria’s grandmother! It wouldn’t have been so bad except for two small details: 1) Maria’s grandmother had never learned English, having come to the United States very late in her life. What was probably worse than that, however, was 2) she was suffering from the advanced effects of Alzheimer’s disease. By that point in the development of the disease, she sort of got around in a walker and was able to speak very little. What little she did say, according to Maria, didn’t always make sense.
“Necesito fríjoles para el inodoro,” she would announce asking for beans to put into the toilet.
“Mira ese niñito negro travieso,” she would say pointing to her dog, asking the listener to look at the little, black boy misbehaving.
What could I do? I didn’t speak enough Spanish to say anything to her. What was I going to say, “Mamacita, cosa rica!”? I stood over the chair where she was seated, looking around to see if anyone was in the apartment.
“¡Maravilloso!” I heard coming from her mouth.
“Excuse me?” I asked.
“¡Maravilloso!”
“Oh boy! What does ma rah bee joe sew mean? Uh. ¿Cómo está Usted?” At least I knew how to ask how she was, but that didn’t help at all. All she did was keep repeating the “Maravilloso” thing, whatever that was. This wasn’t what I needed right now. I was as nervous as hell and now I had to figure out “maravilloso.” Where was everyone?
It wasn’t for another 20 minutes before Dario finally returned. He laughed when I tried to explain what she kept saying to me.
“It means marvelous,” he said. “She must like how you look.”
I didn’t exactly want to know that Maria’s grandmother thought that I looked marvelous, but at least the laughter and the presence of someone who could speak English to me helped to relax my nerves. Luckily, from there, there weren’t too many moments to get nervous.
As Maria had known, the wedding went off without too many hitches. I almost passed out seeing Maria all dressed up. She was the most beautiful thing that I had seen in my life! Luckily, I was standing next to the front pew, so I was able to keep my balance. The ceremony and the reception went off very well considering that too very inexperienced people put it together. Yes, the ceremony was a little long because of the two languages, but I didn’t see anyone walking out or falling asleep. Yes, the amount of food wasn’t quite enough and Maria and I didn’t end up eating.: we were too concerned about getting everyone else fed. Yes, the bar tab ended being higher than we had budgeted because my brother and Dario kept asking for more beer. Yes, all of that happened, but it was still the highlight of my life being able to profess publicly my love for Maria and promise myself to her for the rest of our lives. Besides, we were able to prove that two young, inexperienced and poor people were able to have a rather nice wedding without too many complications.
I was nineteen at the time and Maria had just turned twenty. We were both college students, working to support ourselves in the not-so high-paying jobs at Fabric-Land and Seven-Eleven. We weren’t exactly rich ourselves, so our wedding definitely wasn’t the most expensive wedding ever. That’s OK! It was OUR wedding.
We knew that we wanted to get married in Modesto (surprise, surprise). We knew that we wanted the ceremony to be both in Spanish and in English. Beyond the fact that we knew we had a limited budget, we didn’t know much else about the whole undertaking. That’s all right, we (or Maria most likely), had the confidence that everything would be fine one way or the other. We plunged ahead and made all of the arrangements we could.
The site of the church was an easy decision. Iris lived around the corner from the Catholic Church that just happened to have the same name as the church in Colombia where Maria was baptized: it was perfect! In addition, her uncle was a deacon, so he would be able to be part of the ceremony: again a perfect fit! We found a reasonably priced restaurant with a large room for parties that wasn’t too far from the church. Maria knew exactly how she wanted to decorate, so we found the materials needed to make it look the way she wanted. Finally, we found a reasonably priced location in Mazatlán, México, were we could go for our honeymoon. Everything seemed to be working out fine.
As the day arrived, my friends put together a bachelor party, while Maria’s sisters put together a bachelorette party. I don’t remember too much about my party. It was at my sister’s boyfriend’s father’s house outside of Lodi. We had some drinks, watched a few movies and then I fell asleep. I woke in the morning to find that my bestman, Tony, had generously painted my fingernails and toe nails a bright red for me. What a great friend!
Finally, the day was getting closer. We finished a practice run, and I drove back to Stockton, while Maria stayed with her family. I found out later that between her hair and her makeup, Maria didn’t sleep much at all that night. I didn’t sleep much either, mostly because Tony, Ron and my sister’s boyfriend were up partying all night getting stoned. It was the most important day of my life and all of my supposed support was getting stoned.
The next morning, they were still in the same shape. They weren’t much help at all for me and my nerves. I was getting married, and a lot of people were going to be there to watch me do it. There were people from my family including all of the aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc. In addition, all of Maria’s family and family friends were there. On top of that, all of our friends were there also. I had never been so nervous in my life and my stoned friends weren’t helping at all. Even worse, I couldn’t relieve my stress talking with Maria. It was our wedding day; I couldn’t even see her until the moment of the wedding.
We got to Modesto to the apartment complex where Iris lived. Luckily it was the same complex where her brother, Dario, and mother lived. That allowed those that could, the opportunity to go and see Maria, while those of us who couldn’t (me) had a place to go. My friends abandoned me to see Maria and continue their partying. Dario left to be with Iris and the others in their final preparations as well. That left me alone with Maria’s grandmother.
There I was alone with Maria’s grandmother! It wouldn’t have been so bad except for two small details: 1) Maria’s grandmother had never learned English, having come to the United States very late in her life. What was probably worse than that, however, was 2) she was suffering from the advanced effects of Alzheimer’s disease. By that point in the development of the disease, she sort of got around in a walker and was able to speak very little. What little she did say, according to Maria, didn’t always make sense.
“Necesito fríjoles para el inodoro,” she would announce asking for beans to put into the toilet.
“Mira ese niñito negro travieso,” she would say pointing to her dog, asking the listener to look at the little, black boy misbehaving.
What could I do? I didn’t speak enough Spanish to say anything to her. What was I going to say, “Mamacita, cosa rica!”? I stood over the chair where she was seated, looking around to see if anyone was in the apartment.
“¡Maravilloso!” I heard coming from her mouth.
“Excuse me?” I asked.
“¡Maravilloso!”
“Oh boy! What does ma rah bee joe sew mean? Uh. ¿Cómo está Usted?” At least I knew how to ask how she was, but that didn’t help at all. All she did was keep repeating the “Maravilloso” thing, whatever that was. This wasn’t what I needed right now. I was as nervous as hell and now I had to figure out “maravilloso.” Where was everyone?
It wasn’t for another 20 minutes before Dario finally returned. He laughed when I tried to explain what she kept saying to me.
“It means marvelous,” he said. “She must like how you look.”
I didn’t exactly want to know that Maria’s grandmother thought that I looked marvelous, but at least the laughter and the presence of someone who could speak English to me helped to relax my nerves. Luckily, from there, there weren’t too many moments to get nervous.
As Maria had known, the wedding went off without too many hitches. I almost passed out seeing Maria all dressed up. She was the most beautiful thing that I had seen in my life! Luckily, I was standing next to the front pew, so I was able to keep my balance. The ceremony and the reception went off very well considering that too very inexperienced people put it together. Yes, the ceremony was a little long because of the two languages, but I didn’t see anyone walking out or falling asleep. Yes, the amount of food wasn’t quite enough and Maria and I didn’t end up eating.: we were too concerned about getting everyone else fed. Yes, the bar tab ended being higher than we had budgeted because my brother and Dario kept asking for more beer. Yes, all of that happened, but it was still the highlight of my life being able to profess publicly my love for Maria and promise myself to her for the rest of our lives. Besides, we were able to prove that two young, inexperienced and poor people were able to have a rather nice wedding without too many complications.
posted by Richard Braun | 8:12 AM
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