Chapter 5: Uncle Tom's Ranch
Maria and I had arranged a honeymoon to Mazatlán, México, but we weren’t leaving right away. There was a weekend between the wedding itself and our flight out. In the meantime, we followed la familia’s tradition of getting together for another event. The wedding and the reception were obviously not enough time. We went out, as a group, to visit one of the families that lived on the outskirts of Modesto outside of a small town called Waterford.
Between all of the different families that composed la familia, one of the most likely to host events lived just outside of Waterford on 10 acres of land lying on the banks of the Tuolumne River. Out of all of the households, the Brodericks’ lent itself the best for a large gathering of people. Not long before our wedding, they had built a house just above the highest flood level of the river. It was a large two-story house with a kitchen, dining room and master bedroom on the top floor, and the family room and bedrooms for the three boys below. Since the house was built on a hill, the upper level was the entry way. You had to go down either by the stairs or by walking around the house down the hill to the lower level.
This ranch worked so well because everyone could find a place to do as they wished without bothering the others. That was so true that in later years we started calling it “Rancho Relaxo.” Los tíos would be on the top floor chatting. The “kids” could be on the bottom playing and not bothering the conversations going on upstairs. Anyone not wanting to be part of the conversations or playing could go outside to watch the river or the waterfall on the other side. It was a perfect place for a large group to get together, especially with the river during the hot, sticky summer months like the month in which we got married.
At that time, la familia was divided along very definite lines. The strongest line was the reason for everyone getting together, los tíos. The brothers and sisters had been through quite a bit during their lifetimes, enough to fill another book entirely. They were the ones that insisted on the very positive and strong familial bonds that had allowed the second lines, los primos, to be raised essentially together. All of the boys, and they were all male, had spent the formative portions of their lives together a large portion of the time. They lived in different households and went to different schools, but since they played and got together at the “events” so often, at times they all seemed more like brothers than cousins.
Maria’s sisters, because of their age when they came to the US, fit in more with los primos, but being girls and not having spent their earlier years together left a small gap. There was an even larger gap for Maria since she was so much older than all of her cousins. She didn’t exactly fit in with los tíos either, though, since she was quite a bit younger than each of them. She would spend a lot of the time listening to the conversations with los tíos, especially now that she was married. At the same time she would, at times, join los primos to “play.”
The last line, and the one that I was assigned to by default, was all of the people who had married into or were associated with members of la familia. This included all of the spouses and friends of los tíos. Basically, we were the in-laws, but Maria’s Uncle Tom, the owner of the property, had come up with an affectionate term that seemed to fit much better. We didn’t fit into the inner circle of the family and were too old to fit in with los primos, so we were the “Out-laws.” Because this term was similar to in-law, but gave the more appropriate sense, in this context, of being outside instead of in, it was a good fit.
The “Out-laws” would be the ones trying to change the events with their gringo ideas and customs. The “Out-laws” were the ones always trying to make everyone speak English, even though they were in the vast minority. The “Out-laws” were the ones that wanted to make sure that los primos had American customs as well as Colombian (as if it were possible not to with the heavy influence of TV and the schools). I wasn’t exactly an “Outlaw” since I wanted to find out what los tíos were talking about and I was closer in age to los primos. But I still couldn’t understand the conversations of los tíos and was still 10 years older than los primos.
Uncle Tom was definitely the leader of the “Out-laws.” Unlike the others that had married in, Tom is educated and has defined opinions that don’t always match those of la familia. Since Maria and her family were still living in Colombia at the time, Tom was the first outsider to become part of la familia.
In spite of his “Out-law” status with la familia, Tom always had treated us incredibly well. Not only had he essentially married us under the supervision of a Spanish speaking priest, he had given us a lot of much needed cash as a wedding gift. On top of that, it had been through him that Maria’s family had been able to get the visas to come to the US to begin with. Tom was also one that would take any of us aside for talks about touchy issues that were better handled one on one.
La familia arrived to Waterford in the early afternoon. As usual, los tíos sat around in the kitchen area talking about some subject that I could only dream about understanding. I assumed that it had something to do with the wedding, how someone acted or didn’t act there or one of their weddings, but I had no way of confirming without being rude. Maria’s only remaining aunt and uncle that still lived in Colombia were present since he gave her away at the wedding. They were a big part of the conversation.
Los primos, Maria and I headed down to the river to play. The weather was perfect to be in a cool river playing around. It was about 100 degrees out and the sweat dripped off of all our foreheads. We spent a long time swimming and exploring up and down the banks of the river. Some of the more adventurous of us had found a rope swing and did our best imitations of Tarzan, swinging out over the river before letting go and falling into the water. It was pure, innocent fun all of us enjoying ourselves.
Finally, we headed back up the river towards the house. One of the primos headed across the river towards the waterfall, for some reason. The waterfall was a manmade one from the overflow from one of the ranches on the other side of the tall hill across the river. Whoever it was, climbed onto the cement step at the bottom and found the cement walls covered with a mossy, seaweed type substance. He started just to clean the walls off, but one of the pieces flew into the water and hit one of the others on the back. That one had to get out in order to get his revenge by throwing another piece. Before long, all of us, Maria and her sisters included, had climbed out the water onto the step to grab some of the moss and throw it at someone else. What a blast! Before long, we were all covered in moss from head to toe. It was as if a group of Swamp Monsters had arrived at the waterfall. If only there was a waterproof camera somewhere around to have taken a picture of us.
Before long we had cleaned all of the reachable moss off of the walls and jumped back into the water to clean off. before heading back up the hill. I’m not sure if los tíos would have participated in the moss throwing, but to me it was a wonderful example of the family unity that was always present at the “events.” Not only were los tíos able to get together and rehash conversations begun earlier, the children were able to get together for healthy fun. On top of that, since a good many of the “events” were around different holidays, the children were able to learn the customs of their mothers and add those to the American ones to which they were daily exposed. Even though none of los primos was fluent in Spanish as a child, they were all able to understand it perfectly and, without fail, all of them have been able to greatly improve it and use it professionally as adults. They weren’t the only ones either, as I learned slowly myself.
Between all of the different families that composed la familia, one of the most likely to host events lived just outside of Waterford on 10 acres of land lying on the banks of the Tuolumne River. Out of all of the households, the Brodericks’ lent itself the best for a large gathering of people. Not long before our wedding, they had built a house just above the highest flood level of the river. It was a large two-story house with a kitchen, dining room and master bedroom on the top floor, and the family room and bedrooms for the three boys below. Since the house was built on a hill, the upper level was the entry way. You had to go down either by the stairs or by walking around the house down the hill to the lower level.
This ranch worked so well because everyone could find a place to do as they wished without bothering the others. That was so true that in later years we started calling it “Rancho Relaxo.” Los tíos would be on the top floor chatting. The “kids” could be on the bottom playing and not bothering the conversations going on upstairs. Anyone not wanting to be part of the conversations or playing could go outside to watch the river or the waterfall on the other side. It was a perfect place for a large group to get together, especially with the river during the hot, sticky summer months like the month in which we got married.
At that time, la familia was divided along very definite lines. The strongest line was the reason for everyone getting together, los tíos. The brothers and sisters had been through quite a bit during their lifetimes, enough to fill another book entirely. They were the ones that insisted on the very positive and strong familial bonds that had allowed the second lines, los primos, to be raised essentially together. All of the boys, and they were all male, had spent the formative portions of their lives together a large portion of the time. They lived in different households and went to different schools, but since they played and got together at the “events” so often, at times they all seemed more like brothers than cousins.
Maria’s sisters, because of their age when they came to the US, fit in more with los primos, but being girls and not having spent their earlier years together left a small gap. There was an even larger gap for Maria since she was so much older than all of her cousins. She didn’t exactly fit in with los tíos either, though, since she was quite a bit younger than each of them. She would spend a lot of the time listening to the conversations with los tíos, especially now that she was married. At the same time she would, at times, join los primos to “play.”
The last line, and the one that I was assigned to by default, was all of the people who had married into or were associated with members of la familia. This included all of the spouses and friends of los tíos. Basically, we were the in-laws, but Maria’s Uncle Tom, the owner of the property, had come up with an affectionate term that seemed to fit much better. We didn’t fit into the inner circle of the family and were too old to fit in with los primos, so we were the “Out-laws.” Because this term was similar to in-law, but gave the more appropriate sense, in this context, of being outside instead of in, it was a good fit.
The “Out-laws” would be the ones trying to change the events with their gringo ideas and customs. The “Out-laws” were the ones always trying to make everyone speak English, even though they were in the vast minority. The “Out-laws” were the ones that wanted to make sure that los primos had American customs as well as Colombian (as if it were possible not to with the heavy influence of TV and the schools). I wasn’t exactly an “Outlaw” since I wanted to find out what los tíos were talking about and I was closer in age to los primos. But I still couldn’t understand the conversations of los tíos and was still 10 years older than los primos.
Uncle Tom was definitely the leader of the “Out-laws.” Unlike the others that had married in, Tom is educated and has defined opinions that don’t always match those of la familia. Since Maria and her family were still living in Colombia at the time, Tom was the first outsider to become part of la familia.
In spite of his “Out-law” status with la familia, Tom always had treated us incredibly well. Not only had he essentially married us under the supervision of a Spanish speaking priest, he had given us a lot of much needed cash as a wedding gift. On top of that, it had been through him that Maria’s family had been able to get the visas to come to the US to begin with. Tom was also one that would take any of us aside for talks about touchy issues that were better handled one on one.
La familia arrived to Waterford in the early afternoon. As usual, los tíos sat around in the kitchen area talking about some subject that I could only dream about understanding. I assumed that it had something to do with the wedding, how someone acted or didn’t act there or one of their weddings, but I had no way of confirming without being rude. Maria’s only remaining aunt and uncle that still lived in Colombia were present since he gave her away at the wedding. They were a big part of the conversation.
Los primos, Maria and I headed down to the river to play. The weather was perfect to be in a cool river playing around. It was about 100 degrees out and the sweat dripped off of all our foreheads. We spent a long time swimming and exploring up and down the banks of the river. Some of the more adventurous of us had found a rope swing and did our best imitations of Tarzan, swinging out over the river before letting go and falling into the water. It was pure, innocent fun all of us enjoying ourselves.
Finally, we headed back up the river towards the house. One of the primos headed across the river towards the waterfall, for some reason. The waterfall was a manmade one from the overflow from one of the ranches on the other side of the tall hill across the river. Whoever it was, climbed onto the cement step at the bottom and found the cement walls covered with a mossy, seaweed type substance. He started just to clean the walls off, but one of the pieces flew into the water and hit one of the others on the back. That one had to get out in order to get his revenge by throwing another piece. Before long, all of us, Maria and her sisters included, had climbed out the water onto the step to grab some of the moss and throw it at someone else. What a blast! Before long, we were all covered in moss from head to toe. It was as if a group of Swamp Monsters had arrived at the waterfall. If only there was a waterproof camera somewhere around to have taken a picture of us.
Before long we had cleaned all of the reachable moss off of the walls and jumped back into the water to clean off. before heading back up the hill. I’m not sure if los tíos would have participated in the moss throwing, but to me it was a wonderful example of the family unity that was always present at the “events.” Not only were los tíos able to get together and rehash conversations begun earlier, the children were able to get together for healthy fun. On top of that, since a good many of the “events” were around different holidays, the children were able to learn the customs of their mothers and add those to the American ones to which they were daily exposed. Even though none of los primos was fluent in Spanish as a child, they were all able to understand it perfectly and, without fail, all of them have been able to greatly improve it and use it professionally as adults. They weren’t the only ones either, as I learned slowly myself.
posted by Richard Braun | 9:10 AM
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