Chapter 7: New Additions
Life continued to get more and more complicated with the passage of time. María and I were still studying, we were all working, and I was still arguing with Ximena about finishing her share of the chores. It didn’t seem like it at the time, but the largest complication was going to come from the smallest source.
I was working in one of the many childcare centers at the university while María worked in the one of the zoology labs. What a nice way to support yourself! I got to play around with two-year-olds; while María got paid good money to tie labels on the legs of reptiles. One day, she told me to meet her near the cookie place where we had worked a couple of years earlier. I thought that it was a little strange. We usually met at the child care center before catching the bus to go back home. I wasn’t nervous though, since the cookie place was just outside of the Bears’ Lair, the campus pub and close to a coffee place. Maybe she just wanted to have some coffee before we caught the bus.
When María finally arrived, we started talking. She seemed a little more serious than normal, but I didn’t think anything of it until she said that she had an announcement.
“I went to the doctor’s today,” she said.
“Are you sick?” I asked. “I didn’t notice anything this morning when you left.”
“No, I’m not sick, but I am pregnant.”
The word “pregnant” didn’t sink in at first. I just sat staring at Maria thinking that with all of the other people around us in the crowded area that I had heard something else. I have the problem in large groups of not being able to shut out other conversations. It is the slight hyperactivity that I have. I don’t try to listen in on other people’s conversations, but I can’t keep from hearing them. So I just stared at María without saying anything.
“I said that I’m pregnant.”
“Pregnant?” Finally, the word sunk in. “You mean you’re going to have a baby?”
“Yes, WE’re going to have a baby.”
I wasn’t sure how to react. I was a young, 21-year-old college student. Yes, I was married, but what did I know about being a father? “Are we ready for something like that?” What a stupid question!
“What do you mean ready? It isn’t as if you can do anything to get ready to be parents, other than to do what we already did.”
As always, María had the self-confidence needed to be sure that everything was going to be all right. I didn’t have the same confidence, but again, I wasn’t the one that was going to have to carry the baby around in my stomach for 9 months.
“Well, now what do we do?” I asked, another great question.
“We have to let people know. I have to call my mother.”
I should have known that with anything big, la familia had to be involved. Quite a few phones calls and excitement later, we had let everyone know that we were going to have a baby. I still wasn’t exactly sure how we were going to make it: working full time, studying full time and being parents full time, but somehow we would find the way.
As the months and days passed and the big day got closer, María and I tried to go to the Lamaze preparation courses. Unfortunately, the instructor was a little too gung-ho on the whole idea of using breathing to relieve pain, “I went through root canal just using Lamaze!” This was a little too much for María to believe, so she didn’t really put all of her effort into learning the relaxation techniques.
As the first contractions hit María, we had no idea whatsoever what to expect or what to do. We loaded into the car to drive up Pill Hill to the hospital. She was already past nine months pregnant, and her legs had swollen up more than normal. She thought that she looked like a hippopotamus, because they were so swollen. The doctor and the midwife that we were working with were both pretty concerned, and this concern passed right over to us. We flew up the hill!
After filling out all of the necessary paperwork, we were shown to a room. In the meantime, Ximena started calling her mother to let her know, so that she could come. I was beginning to relax, since finally things were coming to a conclusion. I would be a father soon. Then the doctor came in and connected all of the machines: IV, blood pressure, sonogram, EKG, etc. It was as if they had to put to use all of the new equipment that was sitting around.
We waited and waited. Finally the pains got better. The doctors said that they had great news for us: “We’re sorry, but it’s not time yet. It must be false labor.” That is just what we needed “false labor!” Everyone had to be called again, and we had to repack and head for home.
What a let down! There is a tremendous adrenaline rush as the pains begin and all of the excitement of: “Ok, let’s get everything! Don’t forget the _____! Don’t forget the _____! Oh, my God, I forgot the _____!” The movies don’t even come close to showing the emotions that are running through your head in those moments. And then to have it all be: “false labor.” Especially with it being past the due date and all of the swelling in María’s legs. That was further complicated by the caster oil that they gave María to drink so help speed up the process. It had to be the most disgusting thing that you would want anyone to drink and still be healthy. Besides, it would give her a bad case of diarrhea.
We found out a couple of hours after getting back to our apartment that the doctors were especially concerned about the swelling. They wanted to induce the labor using drugs to force the baby to be born before the process started naturally. Now, we would know exactly when the process would start, but it would take away all of the natural process that María had wanted. That is why she had chosen to have a midwife, so that the process would be more natural. Oh well! If the doctors were concerned, it would be better to be safe.
Besides, knowing when the process would start gave Iris and Sonia the opportunity to drive from Modesto to be there as well. María didn’t want to go through the important date without her mother and both of her sisters present. I thought that it was little strange having all three of them there. I could understand her mother being there with us, but all three of them? In the end, it was María’s decision to make, not mine. She had to have her family there.
As the medication was given to María, she and I were in the small delivery room. On top of the two of us, Iris, Ximena and Sonia came in. Before the baby was finally born, 25 hours of labor later, we were joined by the midwife, a nurse, the doctor and at least three other interns that I remember, the anesthesiologist and I don’t know who else. It was as if the entire hospital was crammed into the small delivery room. And all throughout, Ximena was trying to get to the right angle to film the entire process.
The strangest part of the whole process wasn’t the number of people in the room, even though that was very strange. The strange part was the nurse. She was trying to help María from the back of the room (since the family, the doctors and I were up close) by saying, “Push, push, push.” It was as if someone had put a strange “Push, push, push” recording and was playing it over the loud speakers. The repetitiveness of her “push, push, push” was even more aggravated by her high pitched voice. It was annoying to me, but no one else said anything, so I didn’t either. It wasn’t until the next day, in talking about the experience, that we all agreed, including María, how annoying it actually was. No one could figure out where the “Push, push, push” was coming from, no one thought it was helping, but no one bothered to ask the nurse to stop.
Finally, the great occurrence happened! My son was born finally at 5:21 PM. Again, that was after 25 hours of hard labor. Without the relaxation of Lamaze, María suffered a lot. In looking at pictures taken at the time, she looks completely drained. It is almost as if giving birth drained all of her energy out of her, completely. I knew the minute that he was born that my life had changed. It was as if all of the things that had bothered me before were no longer important anymore. The only thing that mattered anymore was making sure that this little being was able to grow happy, healthy and warm. Tears flowed down my face like they had never flown before.
We had already come up with a name for the baby. We had gone through books and books of different names. María kept suggesting Giovanni and Giacomo. I couldn’t imagine my son going through life as a Giacomo, so I kept searching. One day, while working at the International House, a dorm for international students and those studying international studies, I met a Panamanian whose parents were from Italy. His name was Giancarlo. I liked the sound of his name and ran it by María. She loved the sound of it. We didn’t want to leave the name Giancarlo though since neither one of us is Italian, so I suggested adding an “s.”
“That way it will sound like it is Spanish,” I suggested. “It will be unique. No one else in the world will have that name.”
“Well then, there is no way that he needs a middle name since Giancarlos Delgado-Braun is already pretty long.”
It was settled, the baby name was going to be Giancarlos. He had given a totally new meaning to life that I had never realized before. Life, family, and everything involved with them were really what was important. All of the things that we chase after: money, sports, fame, knowledge. None of them make any sense unless it has to do with life and family. What good does any of those things do unless you have with whom to share them? It wasn’t until the day that Giancarlos was born that I began to realize that. It was something that María had known all along, that is why la familia was there always. That is why the “events” were so important, because the people at those “events” were the ones that you needed to give meaning to life. In marrying her, instead of creating a separate existence, as I had thought, we had just added to the greater existence that was la familia.
We would have an “event” in our house before too long, but first María needed her rest, and I needed time to spend with her and with Giancarlos. This was our time to concentrate on our little familia.
I was working in one of the many childcare centers at the university while María worked in the one of the zoology labs. What a nice way to support yourself! I got to play around with two-year-olds; while María got paid good money to tie labels on the legs of reptiles. One day, she told me to meet her near the cookie place where we had worked a couple of years earlier. I thought that it was a little strange. We usually met at the child care center before catching the bus to go back home. I wasn’t nervous though, since the cookie place was just outside of the Bears’ Lair, the campus pub and close to a coffee place. Maybe she just wanted to have some coffee before we caught the bus.
When María finally arrived, we started talking. She seemed a little more serious than normal, but I didn’t think anything of it until she said that she had an announcement.
“I went to the doctor’s today,” she said.
“Are you sick?” I asked. “I didn’t notice anything this morning when you left.”
“No, I’m not sick, but I am pregnant.”
The word “pregnant” didn’t sink in at first. I just sat staring at Maria thinking that with all of the other people around us in the crowded area that I had heard something else. I have the problem in large groups of not being able to shut out other conversations. It is the slight hyperactivity that I have. I don’t try to listen in on other people’s conversations, but I can’t keep from hearing them. So I just stared at María without saying anything.
“I said that I’m pregnant.”
“Pregnant?” Finally, the word sunk in. “You mean you’re going to have a baby?”
“Yes, WE’re going to have a baby.”
I wasn’t sure how to react. I was a young, 21-year-old college student. Yes, I was married, but what did I know about being a father? “Are we ready for something like that?” What a stupid question!
“What do you mean ready? It isn’t as if you can do anything to get ready to be parents, other than to do what we already did.”
As always, María had the self-confidence needed to be sure that everything was going to be all right. I didn’t have the same confidence, but again, I wasn’t the one that was going to have to carry the baby around in my stomach for 9 months.
“Well, now what do we do?” I asked, another great question.
“We have to let people know. I have to call my mother.”
I should have known that with anything big, la familia had to be involved. Quite a few phones calls and excitement later, we had let everyone know that we were going to have a baby. I still wasn’t exactly sure how we were going to make it: working full time, studying full time and being parents full time, but somehow we would find the way.
As the months and days passed and the big day got closer, María and I tried to go to the Lamaze preparation courses. Unfortunately, the instructor was a little too gung-ho on the whole idea of using breathing to relieve pain, “I went through root canal just using Lamaze!” This was a little too much for María to believe, so she didn’t really put all of her effort into learning the relaxation techniques.
As the first contractions hit María, we had no idea whatsoever what to expect or what to do. We loaded into the car to drive up Pill Hill to the hospital. She was already past nine months pregnant, and her legs had swollen up more than normal. She thought that she looked like a hippopotamus, because they were so swollen. The doctor and the midwife that we were working with were both pretty concerned, and this concern passed right over to us. We flew up the hill!
After filling out all of the necessary paperwork, we were shown to a room. In the meantime, Ximena started calling her mother to let her know, so that she could come. I was beginning to relax, since finally things were coming to a conclusion. I would be a father soon. Then the doctor came in and connected all of the machines: IV, blood pressure, sonogram, EKG, etc. It was as if they had to put to use all of the new equipment that was sitting around.
We waited and waited. Finally the pains got better. The doctors said that they had great news for us: “We’re sorry, but it’s not time yet. It must be false labor.” That is just what we needed “false labor!” Everyone had to be called again, and we had to repack and head for home.
What a let down! There is a tremendous adrenaline rush as the pains begin and all of the excitement of: “Ok, let’s get everything! Don’t forget the _____! Don’t forget the _____! Oh, my God, I forgot the _____!” The movies don’t even come close to showing the emotions that are running through your head in those moments. And then to have it all be: “false labor.” Especially with it being past the due date and all of the swelling in María’s legs. That was further complicated by the caster oil that they gave María to drink so help speed up the process. It had to be the most disgusting thing that you would want anyone to drink and still be healthy. Besides, it would give her a bad case of diarrhea.
We found out a couple of hours after getting back to our apartment that the doctors were especially concerned about the swelling. They wanted to induce the labor using drugs to force the baby to be born before the process started naturally. Now, we would know exactly when the process would start, but it would take away all of the natural process that María had wanted. That is why she had chosen to have a midwife, so that the process would be more natural. Oh well! If the doctors were concerned, it would be better to be safe.
Besides, knowing when the process would start gave Iris and Sonia the opportunity to drive from Modesto to be there as well. María didn’t want to go through the important date without her mother and both of her sisters present. I thought that it was little strange having all three of them there. I could understand her mother being there with us, but all three of them? In the end, it was María’s decision to make, not mine. She had to have her family there.
As the medication was given to María, she and I were in the small delivery room. On top of the two of us, Iris, Ximena and Sonia came in. Before the baby was finally born, 25 hours of labor later, we were joined by the midwife, a nurse, the doctor and at least three other interns that I remember, the anesthesiologist and I don’t know who else. It was as if the entire hospital was crammed into the small delivery room. And all throughout, Ximena was trying to get to the right angle to film the entire process.
The strangest part of the whole process wasn’t the number of people in the room, even though that was very strange. The strange part was the nurse. She was trying to help María from the back of the room (since the family, the doctors and I were up close) by saying, “Push, push, push.” It was as if someone had put a strange “Push, push, push” recording and was playing it over the loud speakers. The repetitiveness of her “push, push, push” was even more aggravated by her high pitched voice. It was annoying to me, but no one else said anything, so I didn’t either. It wasn’t until the next day, in talking about the experience, that we all agreed, including María, how annoying it actually was. No one could figure out where the “Push, push, push” was coming from, no one thought it was helping, but no one bothered to ask the nurse to stop.
Finally, the great occurrence happened! My son was born finally at 5:21 PM. Again, that was after 25 hours of hard labor. Without the relaxation of Lamaze, María suffered a lot. In looking at pictures taken at the time, she looks completely drained. It is almost as if giving birth drained all of her energy out of her, completely. I knew the minute that he was born that my life had changed. It was as if all of the things that had bothered me before were no longer important anymore. The only thing that mattered anymore was making sure that this little being was able to grow happy, healthy and warm. Tears flowed down my face like they had never flown before.
We had already come up with a name for the baby. We had gone through books and books of different names. María kept suggesting Giovanni and Giacomo. I couldn’t imagine my son going through life as a Giacomo, so I kept searching. One day, while working at the International House, a dorm for international students and those studying international studies, I met a Panamanian whose parents were from Italy. His name was Giancarlo. I liked the sound of his name and ran it by María. She loved the sound of it. We didn’t want to leave the name Giancarlo though since neither one of us is Italian, so I suggested adding an “s.”
“That way it will sound like it is Spanish,” I suggested. “It will be unique. No one else in the world will have that name.”
“Well then, there is no way that he needs a middle name since Giancarlos Delgado-Braun is already pretty long.”
It was settled, the baby name was going to be Giancarlos. He had given a totally new meaning to life that I had never realized before. Life, family, and everything involved with them were really what was important. All of the things that we chase after: money, sports, fame, knowledge. None of them make any sense unless it has to do with life and family. What good does any of those things do unless you have with whom to share them? It wasn’t until the day that Giancarlos was born that I began to realize that. It was something that María had known all along, that is why la familia was there always. That is why the “events” were so important, because the people at those “events” were the ones that you needed to give meaning to life. In marrying her, instead of creating a separate existence, as I had thought, we had just added to the greater existence that was la familia.
We would have an “event” in our house before too long, but first María needed her rest, and I needed time to spend with her and with Giancarlos. This was our time to concentrate on our little familia.
posted by Richard Braun | 11:08 AM
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